Your action plan to mental and physical wellbeing

Are You a Mind Reader?

 

Do you have someone in your life that causes you to feel upset, angry or worthless just by the way they look at you, the tone of voice they use or the mood they appear to be in? 

 

 This used to happen to me all the time too. It was like I had a big sign on my forehead that read  Press My Buttons. Often I would feel angry, upset or humiliated by looks, comments, tones of voice and moods from other people. 

I knew what they meant, I knew what the under current was.

Or so I thought.

Then I read about Mind Reading which is - the concept that a person can know what other people are feeling or thinking – what their internal experiences are – without verifying it with them.

Another AHA moment for me. Through learned behaviours, patterns and of course the good old low self esteem; what I thought were negative and nasty gestures toward me, actually were not. 

For many years I put myself through lots of unnecessary pain and agony. Fortunately I was able to change this pattern very easily by simply asking a few questions each time I was in this emotional state?

Awareness is so powerful, isn’t it?

I was now aware that when someone was “making” me feel bad, I  had absolute control over my internal state. All I had to do was ask a few basic questions such as …

Is everything OK?

Have I done something to upset you?

 Is there anything you want to share with me? 

HOT TIP – don’t say “what’s up YOUR bum?” (that won’t help)

Nine times out of ten, the look, the tone, the mood had nothing to with me at all. I have shortened my times of pain and anxiety dramatically by implementing this strategy.

I hope it helps you too!!

BUT………….. what if it was directed at me?

Then that is great too. The lines of communication are now open and you can discuss the issue or problem and come to some resolve.

Have you had any experiences of mind reading that you would like to share?

 

 

 

 

 

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9 Responses to Are You a Mind Reader?

  1. I am so guilty of this! We want to please our people and so we try to figure them out and sometimes find out we aren’t even close. Great tips!

    • tracey says:

      Hi Annette, I couldn’t agree more. People pleasing often goes hand in hand with mind reading and of course most times driven by low self esteem. Here is awareness and boosting self esteem.

      regards Tracey

  2. Kama says:

    I can so relate to this post! Awareness is life changing. Mind reading is the same as making an assumption and assumptions are really dangerous. Assumptions can ruin our lives. Great post Tracey. I so agree :)

  3. Natalie says:

    One of the four agreements – Don’t take it personally. When we make assumptions we often get it wrong. Great post and reminder to check in both with yourself and the other person.

    • tracey says:

      Hi Natalie and Kama, so true. I think I remember and old saying that goes something like; Assume makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me”. Very true!!!

      regards Tracey

  4. Oh gawd Tracey….this has been the story of my life up until just a year of so ago when I had some NLP work with Karen Clarke. I’m happy to say that I don’t get it now, or if I do it’s barely a fleeting moment. Thank goodness! It’s debilitating! I have to say though, on most occasions if I would question them about whether they were upset, or whatever, the didn’t even know what I was talking about. It was all in MY head! There are 2 quotes that come to mind. 1. What other people think of you is none of your business, and 2. There’s your business, my business and universal business (Carren Smith). We really don’t need to know at the end of the day, and the grief worrying about it isn’t worth it. xx

    • tracey says:

      Hi Krishna, I had my AHA moment a few years ago through another type of Therapy and since I have been studying NLP, I stumbled across the very Apt name for it “Mind Reading” It makes life so much easier when we have these tools and resources to tap into.

      regards Tracey

  5. Fantastic Tracey!!! As a counselor I have witnessed this so much, especially in close relationships such as intimate relationships and family relationships. Learning to challenge our own assumptions is a great practice for opening our perspectives and coming into a mental space of “curiosity”. There is so much we do not know that we think we do… coming into childlike questioning is refreshing and takes us out of fixed thought patterns that lead to depression.

    Love your blog
    Vanessa

  6. tracey says:

    Thank You Vanessa, It certainly does save us all a lot of pain and agony.

    regards Tracey

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